The complaint:
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
The response:
Dear Penis;
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You must be stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Editted by Calamjo and Curtis
Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts
Saturday, May 30, 2009
HILARIOUS JOKE
LEAVING NOW
Roger goes into a barber shop, sits down in the chair and has his hair cut.
When the barber finishes, Roger gets up, but as he’s pulling out his wallet, the barber goes to take a leak in the corner of the room, then zips up and walks back over.
Handing the barber a $20 bill, Roger says, “It’s none of my business, but why did you just urinate in the corner of your own shop?”
The barber says, “My lease runs out in a week. What do I care?”
The barber goes to the register to get Roger his change. When he comes back, he finds Roger squatting in the corner, dropping a deuce.
“What the hell are you doing?” the barber yells.
“Hey,” Roger says, “I’m leaving now.”
Roger goes into a barber shop, sits down in the chair and has his hair cut.
When the barber finishes, Roger gets up, but as he’s pulling out his wallet, the barber goes to take a leak in the corner of the room, then zips up and walks back over.
Handing the barber a $20 bill, Roger says, “It’s none of my business, but why did you just urinate in the corner of your own shop?”
The barber says, “My lease runs out in a week. What do I care?”
The barber goes to the register to get Roger his change. When he comes back, he finds Roger squatting in the corner, dropping a deuce.
“What the hell are you doing?” the barber yells.
“Hey,” Roger says, “I’m leaving now.”
HILARIOUS ANIMAL JOKE
CRAZY PERSON
Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods?
A: They take the psycho path.
HILARIOUS ANIMAL JOKE
DON'T TALK:
A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.
Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”
Indian: “Dog don’t talk.”
Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”
Dog: “Doin’ all right.”
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How does he treat you?”
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Indian: “Horse no talk.”
Cowboy: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool.”
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: “Is this your owner?” (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How’s he treat you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the elements.”
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
Indian: “Sheep lie.”
A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.
Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”
Indian: “Dog don’t talk.”
Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”
Dog: “Doin’ all right.”
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How does he treat you?”
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Indian: “Horse no talk.”
Cowboy: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool.”
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: “Is this your owner?” (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How’s he treat you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the elements.”
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
Indian: “Sheep lie.”
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